its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
