No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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