There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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