I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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