yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
