I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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