so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Barsexuality is the new black.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
