The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
