I smell stomach acid.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
