pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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