Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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