coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Do you have feelings for this penis?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
