Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
