I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
