Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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