Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
