Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
