Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
