He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
