we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We got so high we made milksteak
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Are we still banned from the library?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
