if only i could text you this smell
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
