Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
