Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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