Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
