I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
