Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
