i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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