whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
