For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
