there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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