All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
