Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
