I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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