the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
