Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
