i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
