every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
