She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
