I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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