i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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