the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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