i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
