what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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