At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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