Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
