He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
