every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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