I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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