your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
