so that wasnt chicken after all
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
