The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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